Category Archives: 生活记载

随手记下生活的忙碌琐碎,随口诉说每日的烦忧喜乐。

DBT Hamilton

女儿找到了下边这个可以提供DBT 服务的地方:
https://www.dbthamilton.com/
看了地址,旁边是night club。不是很喜欢这个地点,看了谷歌星评,发现只有三星,很多一星差评.其中一个写道:
DBT Hamilton cares about money. They do not care about people. My gf went there desperately seeking help and they left her during trauma work in the exposure phase. They opened a can of worms that only made her worse. $8,000 was spent total through her insurance for her not to get help. The minute her benefits were done, so was her therapy with Dr. Lisa Burkell who is the main psychologist there. I also tried to seek help as we both witnessed a very traumatic event that led us to get help – over $2,000 was put through her insurance for me just for an assessment and 2 or 3 sessions with a therapist that was absolutely no help. We both gained nothing from this experience other than lost hope in therapy. If you are seeking help for BPD or trauma you can get free help from St. Joes hospital. The program is called Bridge to recovery. I hope this information can help those that truly need it without the financial means.

其中提到St. Joes, Bridge to recover program. 查了一下有很多实用信息:

Hamilton resources:

https://www.stjoes.ca/hospital-s … community-resourcesWebsites/Applications211
A link to community resources and programs within various geographieshttp://www.211ontario.ca/Phone: 905-211-Breathehttps://app.stopbreathethink.org/
Headspace
https://www.headspace.com/
MyThoughtSpot
http://mythoughtspot.ca/
National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder
A resource for information and videos for Families and People in Recoverywww.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com
New York-Presbyterian Weill Cornell Medical CenterBorderline Personality Disorder Resource Centerhttp://www.nyp.org/bpdresourcecenter
The Linehan InstituteResources for Family and Friendshttp://behavioraltech.org/index.cfm

ProgramsFamily Connections Program A 12 week psycho-education group we offer to families and friends of individuals with B.P.D.
(see below to view/download program description and registration form)
Peer Support ResourcesMental Health Rights Coalition,
103-100 Main Street East, Hamilton
905-545-2525
www.mentalhealthrights.caPatient & Family Collaborative Support Services,
St. Joseph’s Healthcare Hamilton West 5th Campus, Room G209
905-522-1155

Peer Support Providers – ext. 36600
Family Liaison/Peer Support – ext. 35599BooksLoving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship
Author: Shari ManningThe borderline personality disorder survival guide: Everything you need to know about living with BPD
Authors: Alexander Chapman and Kim L. GratzThe Buddha & The Borderline: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder Through Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Buddhism, & Online Dating
Author: Kiera Van GelderThe High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, & Validation
Author: Alan Fruzzetti
Additional Compiled Resource Documents, Pamphlets and BookletsAdditional DBT Programs in Ontario (covered by OHIP)Community Psychiatry PamphletCommunity Resources for the Hamilton Area – BookletCommunity Resources for the Hamilton Area – PamphletDBT Private Practice Resource List (NOT Covered by OHIP)Description of Family Connections Program
Family Connections Referral Form

Butterfly hug

今天上课老师讲的这个buterfly,我觉得还挺不错的。其实我们每个人在心情不好的时候,都可以用这个方式来关心我们自己。安慰我们自己,让自己在心情不好的时候,能够从1数到10很快速的平静下来。

今天被朋友的猫咬了四个伤口

家里两个小孩一人领养一只猫,我就很顺当的就变成了每天的铲屎官,自以为对猫很了解。两只猫买的时候领养回来,我就用手上去摸,跟他们玩。他们都非常的随和,从不生气。可是我朋友Peter的这个猫就不一样。 Peter因为要出去度假,所以呢,昨天晚上的时候把他的猫带到我们家,我今天大年初一,女儿独自在家,我中午从公司回来陪她吃个午饭,看到猫呢上去跟他打个招呼,把手伸出去跟他问好,没想到就被他咬了4个伤口。

刚被咬完的时候非常非常生气,因为呢特别的疼痛,真恨不得拿一根棍子揍扁他,把他制服了。或者至少把它关进笼子里,让他time out 4个小时以上。后来深呼吸几口气,想一想暴力沟通这本书,他生气总是因为有一些需求没得到满足。我觉得主要是因为他新到一个地方不太了解环境和周遭的人,他很自然第一反应会以为我要伤害他,他的安全这个需求没有得到满足,他会对我暴力回应。换个角度,如果这只是我家养的猫,而有一个陌生人到我家想把他抓走,那么呢,我会觉得他这么干还干得很漂亮,谁想伤害我们家的猫就把他咬了!这样同自己对话了一阵之后呢,终于静下心来。默默地看着他一阵之后,然后回去上班。接下来下午赶紧落实猫主人的疫苗证书。同时给家庭医生打了电话,医生说猫的牙齿特别脏,需要用肥皂水洗伤口。同时马上给我开了消炎药,传真到了药店。下班后赶紧去取了。。。

这只猫把另外两只猫也吓得大气不敢喘,到处找角落躲起来。而这只猫呢,倒像是家里的主人,四处去逛荡去找另外两只猫,整个家就是乱套了。其实太太想把这只猫带回来的时候,要问我一下,我是不会让她带回来的。因为猫彼此之间相处并不是那么容易,通常他们要分别住自己的小房间住一个星期之后呢,才能慢慢见面才能熟悉起来,另外呢也要根据猫的品种,并不是任何两只猫放在一起都能玩在一起。当我把这些道理讲给我老人听的时候,他反问我一句,多让他们一起玩一玩,熟悉起来不就好了吗?你应该让他们多待在一起。。。我的真的无语,轻轻的叹了一口气。他又高声说道,就这点小事你也要叹气。。。

20221月27日..记住进步,相信明天会更好

今天跟往常一样,6:30就起来,然后呢,昨天给女儿煮了一碗西红柿蛋汤,她非常喜欢,所以今天又变着花样,他准备炖蛋,蛋里面呢加豆腐,肉丝和青菜碎.在车上小小心心的提醒她一次说吃早餐吧,尝尝爸爸做的,她说没有胃口,快到学校了,我又提醒她一遍,她说嗯现在还不是很想吃,等到快下车的时候她尝了一口说好吃!她我要把我做的午餐呢放在书包里当做午餐吃,从9月份开始到现在,将近4个月的时间,这还是第1次她提出来要把我做的饭菜呢装到书包里,作为午餐.爸爸真是开心死了,要知道爸爸做的饭莱,除了西红柿蛋汤,西红柿炒蛋,麻辣豆腐稍微做的还可以。其他的菜每次做的都遭受一堆的批评。这让我相信真的叫有心人,天不负,只要你肯用心,什么事情都能做成。

另外她参加心理咨询的那个老师开始离开这个工作岗位,所以她也就没有辅导老师了,但是他说他可能不太需要了,她说她已经好了很多…想想以前她心情烦的时候,经常半夜开着车从我所居住的这个小镇开半小时车到旁边的哈密顿城市,downtown看万家灯火或者买一点吃的喝的,然后再回来,现在她再也不需要这种服务了。

戴洁上课

这5天呢,从维多利亚学院报名参加这个戴洁的亲子培训班,我觉得收入还是蛮大的。班上有互动的呢,发现其实很多孩子也都不容易,比方说有一个呢,是因为学校遭到暴力欺凌,所以呢十来岁之后就一直待在家,不敢出门,另一个小孩呢,小时候被父亲关在门外,所以呢,觉得没有安全感,现在也是建立不起自信,这个小孩呢,在学校里呢,看到别人的小孩摔倒了,大笑笑了之后呢,同学和老师说他没有同情心,以后他就不太怎么敢笑了。

上周末忍不住和太太吵了一架,因为我准备读书的事情,三四万块钱的学费,她很反对我读书,跟我说了两遍了,跟女儿也一起抱怨我一次,所以呢,我就跟她大吵了一次,我的心理咨询电话告诉我说,这是因为我有对她有非分之想,对她有期待,因为他以前读书呢,我非常非常的支持她,现在呢,我也希望得到她的支持,我不应该有这样的期盼,不应该有这种奢望,这样子呢就不存在矛盾和冲突,我觉得她说的也对,所以以后我尽量往这个方向努力,就是很平静的把自己该做的事做好。

当下觉知的力量:乔·卡巴金正念

昨天无意间找到乔-巴金的演讲,非常的好!

马上通过邮件转给太太和女儿,虽然明明知道她们一定不会看:

(He delivered the speech in Suzhou China. He talked about Chniese Character 念, some poems, and some sentence from Lao and Kongzi etc.. He said that children is the best meditation teacher. Thank you Fifi, I do learned a lot from you. Thank you very much! And mom also is a very good teacher as she mentioned that daddy is not present. Thank you both!!)当下觉知的力量:乔·卡巴金正念@TED

https://www.mindful.org/category/calm/