你说的对。 You are right!

今天陪太太去伦敦餐馆,我本来想修那个下水管堵塞,没想到弄得一双手脏兮兮的也没有弄好。更糟糕的是在去的路上,两夫妻不停的吵口,争论一些皮毛琐事。回来的路上竟然还接着争吵,争吵儿子过生日的一些琐事。唉,我的脾气控制能力还是很差,听到她的指责,批评我不对,错误的地方时候,还是忍不住会血气上涌,怒火中烧,冲她大声吼叫,恨不得把方向盘一转,停在路边跟她争个明明白白,然后再上路。

回到家洗完澡心情平静下来,然后女儿明天考试有压力很难过,她希望我去隔壁城市Hamilton买珍珠奶茶,我开了一天的车很累了,然后呢,折中的办法是去旁边的便利店给她买些糖果,我儿子陪我一起出门去挑糖果。买完糖果回家的路上,我跟儿子说,我今天跟妈妈吵架了。我说我最最讨厌的事情就是在我开车的时候,太太在我边上说三道四,对我套上一些不公正的评判。。。我儿子说他在抖音上看了一个最有效的结束争吵的办法就是说一句”you are right”,你是对的。我听了哈哈大笑,觉得这是一个绝招。这个必须瞬间调整好心态,立马用上,一定会有奇效。我和儿子手握手,答应他以后在吵口的时候,爸爸会一定试着用这一个绝招!希望这会是一个改变我们家庭关系的钥匙。

2022年4月4号女儿重新回到游泳俱乐部。

从去年2021年4月份以后女儿就没怎么游泳了,也是因为疫情的原因游泳池也关闭了,后面游泳池重开了之后呢,她一直觉得自己太胖了不敢去游。我特别记得去年9月初我第1次送她去哈密尔顿另外一个城市的游泳俱乐部,早早的到了,她就是不敢进去。而接下来的这么长的时间里,她每天都叨念着想回去游泳,但是呢,又不能够战胜自己。虽然有时候她会对自已说just go,just for fun,但是她总还是非常非常的顾虑重重,没有办法重新开始游泳。最近娜娜她又想说要游泳,准备回到我们这个布兰特福特这个游泳俱乐部,我又给她报了名。早上他说他不想去,下午呢,他说也不打算去,没想到今天下午上了一天的课之后呢,他突然想起了,这是一年以来第1次游泳,我也特别的兴奋,5:00下班之后呢,早早的在游泳馆后面接她,虽然嘴上脸上都没有表露,但是心里那份开心就是盼望已久的开心。

同女儿一起唱拼音版的卡拉OK:心太软。

女儿今天比较开心,收到那个SHAD的那个McGill大学的夏令营确认信。同时呢,也开始做一些他最头痛的数学作业,所以呢我很开心,另外呢,我太太也准备在今天辞去她的会计工作,从繁多的压力中解脱出来。以前她有三份工作,企业的会计师,下班后自己弄了个注册会计师事务所帮人家报税,还有就是伦敦开了一个小餐馆,我觉得她确实太累了,这对太太是一个很好的转变。

那个其实特别喜欢唱歌,昨天晚上的时候就在自己的房间不停的哼歌。后来她还主动提出来要跟我一起唱中文歌,她说油管有那种拼音版的,我给她找了个拼音版的心太软和她一起唱,然后又唱了最炫民族风,。。昨天晚上呢,还和儿子做了一起数学作业,一开始他说他不是数学天才,他不想上额外的数学课,只想把最基本的对付过去就好了,参加一段时间之后,我发现对数学难题的兴趣增加了,虽然10道题他只能自己做一道两道题,大部分要和我一起攻关,但是啊,和我一起攻克难题之后,他那种成就感还是写在脸上。慢慢的他不会再那么不自信了,他也承认,其实上没有必要给自己设一个上限。

加拿大清华校友会钢琴零基础培训。

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CjRsxzk1CwE

钢琴弹唱第11课
2022-2-28
哔哩哔哩:
https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV1Nq4y147wr/

油管:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjRsxzk1CwE

🌹🎹有琴不苦,小伙伴们互相学习和鼓励,大家继续努力前行✊欢迎新来的小伙伴参加今晚🇨🇦加拿大清华校友会主办的(钢琴弹唱领零起步云课堂)🌹

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[Rose] 第11课2/28日作业

✳️教材小汤第一册✳️

(1)复习第三课的30页内容。

(2)学习31页新课内容。

(3)如果没有钢琴书的小伙伴可以下载我们班长和学习委员整理的电子版哟✌️✌️✌️

(4)欢迎喜欢Nancy老师钢琴课的小伙伴们快快加入今天周一7:30pm(北美东部)的直播课快乐学习中来。

🇨🇦ZOOM ID : 252-062-1864

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Affirmation words for family relationship 助于家庭关系的金玉良言

  1. Though I cannot control others’ reactions, I am in control of how I react to others
  2. We have a healthy, strong and loving relationship that is always improving.
  3. I am grateful for every member of my family.
  4. Everyday I give thanks to my family for the role they play in my life.
  5. I am a source of joy and happiness for my family.
  6. I am committed to maintaining a healthy relationship with my family.
  7. In this family, we build each other up, instead of tearing each other down.
  8. I take family drama in stride and focus on our love for each other instead.
  9. I will only speak loving words to all members of my family.
  10. I am sensitive to my family’s needs.

今天醒的比较早,随便看了一下伦敦华人网,看到里面有一个新闻说是52岁的一个华人男子杀害妻子留下一双年幼的儿女。我查了一下地址,这个位置还真就是我经常去散步的Jack Chambers Elementary School 小学附近。看的这个新闻我震惊,之后我就想,对于我们的家人呢,应该给她们无条件的爱,永恒的关怀,最温暖的语言,最无边的包容,不评判,不指责,多聆听。。。我们时常因为自己难于控制自己的情绪(比如小争吵,财务问题,孩子教育问题,对原生家庭的观点偏差等等),就会想甩锅亲人,把怒火烧到身边的亲人,或者喋喋不休地抱怨。。。当情绪风暴来临,两步走:1)先深呼吸,数数1到10,问问自己,我为什么生气,是我自己的什么需求没有得到满足?我对身边的亲人有什么样的期盼?站在对方的立场上,这些期盼合理吗?对于亲人的期盼,我们有用非暴力沟通里的技巧作四步(观察–感受–需求–请求)沟通吗?2)保持沉默,如果不能保持沉默,离开现场,等情绪恢复后再回到现场。心情回复回到现场不是急于给对方讲道理,而是耐心地倾听对方的心声,听听对方是怎么想的。古语的听字:聽:听的时候要用心(一心一意),要眼睛注视对方(十分即100%的眼神)。。。

道理都明白,真实的生活中我们经常会条件反射,粗暴回应。。其实我们的心理能力也是需要每天“健身锻炼”的,只要心理装着信念,每天操作,只会越来越好。最好终会达到“你好,我好,大家好”的目标。

https://www.londonchinese.ca/portal.php?mod=view&aid=125360

DBT Hamilton

女儿找到了下边这个可以提供DBT 服务的地方:
https://www.dbthamilton.com/
看了地址,旁边是night club。不是很喜欢这个地点,看了谷歌星评,发现只有三星,很多一星差评.其中一个写道:
DBT Hamilton cares about money. They do not care about people. My gf went there desperately seeking help and they left her during trauma work in the exposure phase. They opened a can of worms that only made her worse. $8,000 was spent total through her insurance for her not to get help. The minute her benefits were done, so was her therapy with Dr. Lisa Burkell who is the main psychologist there. I also tried to seek help as we both witnessed a very traumatic event that led us to get help – over $2,000 was put through her insurance for me just for an assessment and 2 or 3 sessions with a therapist that was absolutely no help. We both gained nothing from this experience other than lost hope in therapy. If you are seeking help for BPD or trauma you can get free help from St. Joes hospital. The program is called Bridge to recovery. I hope this information can help those that truly need it without the financial means.

其中提到St. Joes, Bridge to recover program. 查了一下有很多实用信息:

Hamilton resources:

https://www.stjoes.ca/hospital-s … community-resourcesWebsites/Applications211
A link to community resources and programs within various geographieshttp://www.211ontario.ca/Phone: 905-211-Breathehttps://app.stopbreathethink.org/
Headspace
https://www.headspace.com/
MyThoughtSpot
http://mythoughtspot.ca/
National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder
A resource for information and videos for Families and People in Recoverywww.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com
New York-Presbyterian Weill Cornell Medical CenterBorderline Personality Disorder Resource Centerhttp://www.nyp.org/bpdresourcecenter
The Linehan InstituteResources for Family and Friendshttp://behavioraltech.org/index.cfm

ProgramsFamily Connections Program A 12 week psycho-education group we offer to families and friends of individuals with B.P.D.
(see below to view/download program description and registration form)
Peer Support ResourcesMental Health Rights Coalition,
103-100 Main Street East, Hamilton
905-545-2525
www.mentalhealthrights.caPatient & Family Collaborative Support Services,
St. Joseph’s Healthcare Hamilton West 5th Campus, Room G209
905-522-1155

Peer Support Providers – ext. 36600
Family Liaison/Peer Support – ext. 35599BooksLoving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship
Author: Shari ManningThe borderline personality disorder survival guide: Everything you need to know about living with BPD
Authors: Alexander Chapman and Kim L. GratzThe Buddha & The Borderline: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder Through Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Buddhism, & Online Dating
Author: Kiera Van GelderThe High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, & Validation
Author: Alan Fruzzetti
Additional Compiled Resource Documents, Pamphlets and BookletsAdditional DBT Programs in Ontario (covered by OHIP)Community Psychiatry PamphletCommunity Resources for the Hamilton Area – BookletCommunity Resources for the Hamilton Area – PamphletDBT Private Practice Resource List (NOT Covered by OHIP)Description of Family Connections Program
Family Connections Referral Form

好像七八年来,女儿第1次溜冰。.

2022年3月2号,本周星期五也就是后天是PA Day.女儿的同学约她去哈密尔顿的一个露天的溜冰场去溜冰。女儿从四年级到现在大概有七八年了,没溜过冰,她说她想去练习一下。我干紧抓住这个她想运动的机会,去帮找好溜冰鞋,查好哪个露天溜冰场,晚上有开。想了想就直接去downtown的那个溜冰场吧,那边灯光比较多。女儿本来还需要我来陪她玩,但是我找不到鞋子,后面她还是同意去了。没有溜多久她就出汗了,看她滑得非常的投入。我也非常的开心,大概玩了40分钟左右,然后我们就回来了,回家路上,她说以后要继续溜冰。从幼儿园开始学溜冰一直到小学三四年级也整整学了四年。基础还是在的,一上冰面就自由轻快。一直想方设法让她多参加户外的一些运动,没想到今天这么简单就实现了,真是太棒了。。。