一直希望通过设置路由器上对每个设备的上网时间许可来控制孩子们的上网时间。三个孩子，两个默默承受。10年纪的女儿不同意，经常消极抵抗，有时深夜不睡，来回折腾。。。昨天她又在客厅折腾半天不睡，我12点多起来，陪她聊到2点多，虽是泛泛地聊，但是也基本理解了她不希望被掌控的想法。所以决定放手让她自己控制上网时间。写了封信给她，鼓励她以后都尽量用谈判来解决问题。同时也明确她必须遵守的一些约定：
Good morning Fifi:
We had a nice talk last night. You brought up some reasons why you require unlimited wifi:
1) Occasionally for assignment or release some random anxiety;
2) Feeling that you are not 24/7 monitored or supervised;
3) You demonstrated that you could manage your screen time properly while living in cousin’s house in London and you will need to arrange your time in your university life couple years late.
I agreed with you some point of views. I made decision to let you control screen time by yourself. However, you have to follow below preconditions strictly to qualify unlimited wifi:
1) When I send out message to control data usage in wechat group (eg. used up over 50% limit in two weeks), you have to be the first person to give up watching any movie or non-learning related video regardless what other people doing.
2) Demonstrate that you could manage your screen time even better without controlling (eg. less screen time day to day, place your phone and ipad on table in family room around 11 pm daily, turn off your laptop not late than 12:00 am daily, regularly go to sleep not late than 12 am everyday).
3) Contribute more to housework, for example: lawn move, dishes washing, clean toilet, or any task as assigned by parents or grandma.
moving forward, any conflicting should be solved by negotiation not negatively battling. Please keep in mind that discussion / negotiation always is one of the most effective ways to make people understand each other and persuade others support you. Same thing could happen in your campus life, social activities etc.
Anyway, last night’s talk is a good channel to build trust and understand between you and me.
If you agree, please make changes if required and email me back.
Thank you,
Daddy.